THE
AUGER PROBLEM
from
Ivy House Tales.......1974
My tyre
collection business had been running for a few months alongside my
work as a salesman for Firestone Tyres. Following a few raised eyebrows and a long talk
to Henry, my then boss, I eventually left Firestone, but now our
new business needed a boost.
It was not
yet paying sufficiently to live on and I had invested in a
second-hand “split screen” Volkswagen transporter pick up that
was not yet in use all day every day.
Our
neighbours in New Bolingbroke, John H. Rundle were local agricultural
engineers, well respected in the County and suppliers to farmers for
miles around.
AUGERS
From time
to time they used my newly inspired small transport service to back
up their one delivery lorry.
On this
memorable occasion I was using faithful old Volkswagen to
transport
an agricultural auger.
For those
that may not be aware of the vagaries of agricultural equipment, an
auger is like a huge “archimedian” screw in a long tube.
They are
used to move huge piles of grain from one place to another.
In fact if
you stick one end into a “grain mountain” on the floor and place
the top end over a lorry body it will fill the lorry in double quick
time with only minimum shovelling necessary to keep the open end of
the auger at the bottom, filled with grain.
The screw
down the centre of the auger is the main working bit and normally
powered by an electric motor mounted on one end and driving the screw
with a belt and pulleys.
The
lengths of auger tubes varied enormously; the width too come to that!
When they
are particularly long, agricultural augers have supporting steel rods
running the length of the outside of the tube. These rods prevent the
tube buckling and bending the auger inside. Once in position and
suitably secured; the internal screw revolves rapidly and spews grain
out at a tremendous speed and pressure.
This one
was long! It had those steel rods, two of them, one on each side.
A very
large electric motor was mounted on one end. I had been engaged to
deliver it quickly, as a farmer client had suddenly decided he had
nothing to move his shed full of corn and vehicles were actually
enroute to make the collection!
Rundle's
own lorry was away for the whole day.
If I
remember correctly the auger over hung the truck by about eight feet
at the front and eight feet at the back. In which case it must have
been about 30 feet long.
The front
end was pointing upwards and the bottom end complete with its motor,
towards the ground.
The back
had a huge flag attached and I was not going very far, just to the
other side of Boston, about 20 miles.
My auger
nearly didn’t make it to its destination.
THE
JOURNEY
For mile
after mile I watched to the front meticulously but there was never
anything in my way.
Arriving
at the town (Boston) I watched the buildings in all the streets to
make sure the auger did not go through any windows or catch any lamp
standards.
Just by
the Odeon Cinema, I arrived at some traffic lights; as I was slowing
gradually, eyes in all directions at once, someone hooted their horn.
My eyes
were diverted for just a second or two and in that instant a double
decker bus had decided to stop directly in front of my truck!
Rapid
stamping on my brakes resulted in my truck dipping forwards and the
two steel support rods of the auger ending poked through the back of
the double deck bus just below the rotary sign that tells you where
it is going!
I did
manage to stop before the rods went in too far; that is into the
seats!
As the
truck rocked back on its suspension, the two rods reappeared and left
two “staring eyes” dead centre in the bus body just a short
distance below the rotary signboard.
The driver
appeared and looked somewhat bewildered.
“well I
never did!” he exclaimed, ( his words were somewhat stronger and
more colourful), “nothing like this has ever happened before.”
The auger
did not seem to have sustained any damage and the bus driver was
somewhat amused.
There were
two beautifully symmetrical holes close to where his vehicle number
was painted and nothing else to see.
The local
bus depot was on route for both of us and we called in, complete with
a bus loaded with amused passengers. Together we confront his
supervisor.
Disbelief
and baffled would possibly describe his reaction. I left my details
and went on my way closely followed by the bus that decided to let me
go ahead this time!
The fact
that I did know the local bus supervisor personally was a
coincidence. He and his good lady wife had been lodgers with my
grandmother at 129 London Road (just opposite the local bus depot)
for several months just after they had been married in the 1960's and
Geoff was at that time a driver for the bus company.
I don’t
think I ever heard anything else about this incident; perhaps it was
too far fetched for even a bus company management to believe?
ends 892
wds
Ks
copyright September 2009 revised 19.01.16
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