Friday, 12 August 2016

'It's a Rum Life' THE STRAW BALE STORY

''It's a Rum Life''
Northcote Diary Volume One 1984 to 1994

 THE STRAW BALE STORY
This must have been about 1993....it was a bad time all round!
It was during the time that we had no helpers. We had no money either !

The National Lottery had begun and drained all the spare cash that families used to go out on day trips. Over a hundred and fourty million pounds every week had been taken out of the National Economy and put into gambling.

Small animal sanctuaries up and down the Country were feeling the draft.
We were told by our accountant that we were insolvent after our income had dropped by £18,000 in the last year. Our previously paid staff had to go virtually overnight and Ruth and I were left on our own with over fifteen really big horses including old Goliath and his pal who needed really special care.

We owed our vets over £10,000 and they were being marvelous. They had real confidence in us and kept coming, at that time several times a week. Our total debt grew to £38,000 and eventually Ruth began to pay this back bit buy bit from her own nursing income. In the meantime she helped me clean out several horses before beginning her own work at 8.30 each morning.

The morning of this particular incident, we had no straw for bedding and I contacted a farmer friend down on the fens to see if I could call and collect some that same morning just as soon as my stable tasks were finished.

A MESSAGE
At this point I must mention that I remember quite clearly receiving a message in my head saying, something like 'leave it for today'.
In another story you will have read about my 'Easter experiences' and my introduction to Christian faith.

Sufficient to say that I did not pay heed to that message. All I could see in my thoughts was that the horses would have no bedding for that night. I had to do something about it. So I coupled the old Land Rover up to my even older single axle straw trailer and began the journey.
Admittedly, due to the fact that the Land Rover had no road tax disc or current MOT certificate and the trailer brake controls had been broken for several weeks I did decide to take the more minor roads.

THE CONFRONTATION
Duly loaded with a full compliment of 10 large round bales of straw, I started my return journey. Just before approaching the turn off for the minor roads
I had to make another decision. Did I take the quieter roads that were very uneven and undulating and run the risk of loosing a bale or two or did I take the smoother route along the main A16 trunk road.
The A16 won and there began the next problem. Just approaching Keal Hill
where the fens joined the Lincolnshire wolds there are two lay- byes, as I approached the first, a policeman suddenly appeared, as they do and waved me into the lay-by.
'Pull in here for a few moments please sir, ' he said. 'Just to let that long line of traffic behind you get past.'
'Oh and while you are here we will just take a look at your vehicle.'
The tax disc, or rather lack of it was the first thing to be noticed. This prompted me to say,' well you might as well know the truck has no current MOT either!'

Everything they checked on the vehicle worked perfectly.
The load was secure, but the trailer brake cable that was in two pieces was tied up with string. This caused a raised eyebrow or two, but the fact that the landrover is a strange beast and falls between two catagories in the Department of Transport Contruction and Use regulations got me off that problem.
The horse centre name was plastered all over the doors of the truck cab and the officers duly cautioned me that they would be reporting the fact that the vehicle had no tax disc or MOT.


'BUT' after I had gone to great lengths to explain all the circumstances, they did say that if I could buy the Tax disc within 12 hours they would not report that particular problem, which would just leave the MOT.

With that I continued back to the centre where on unloading the trailer, the picture you now see was taken. There was some chance for a laugh despite all the drama of the day!
But you do see the question remains......the message I received earlier that very morning had been proved to be quite correct. This only helped to increase the strength of my Faith!

Ends copyright RKS

Friday, 29 July 2016

JO JO CAME TODAY letters from France originally written in 2011

JO JO CAME TODAY
... letters from France, written in 2011

We have been promising ourselves that we should have Jo-Jo come round and empty our old septic tank. It is rather a fosse and somewhat different to the proper tank that many readers will have experience of in their back garden.

This relic was installed when our house was new and built for M. Fresneau ‘Pere’ in 1968, in those days in France, household plumbing was still a bit primitive.  Our toilet, not to be mistaken with a W.C. was a normal type porcelain affair, sat over a brick shute that emptied into this large concrete tank adjacent and under the house. Instead of the more normal ‘U’ bend you get in a W.C., this one had a plastic ‘lid’ at the bottom with handle attached, handle on the outside I might add. 
One simply flipped the lid and everything shot down the shute! 
 
Without a modern ‘U’ bend of course, there was always a bit of a pong in the ‘little room’. In fact ‘going to the loo’ was sometimes to be avoided until it was un- avoidable!

PLANS
Last year we managed to afford a new ‘gleaming’ septic tank, which was planted in the garden behind the house and connected to a long arrangement of filter pipes elsewhere in the garden.  This whole arrangement does not happen overnight in France.
Unlike the UK where until fairly recently one could borrow a JCB and suitably out of sight, simply bury a septic tank wherever you wished; here in France the procedure takes best part of a year. An inspector is booked to come and survey your property to see if it will sustain a septic tank and its filters. 
Once this hurdle is passed and the actual site plans have been received, you can look for your approved contractor to provide an estimate of cost.

The whole thing took us two years from start to finish. The new bathroom is finished too complete with “proper” WC; and now we have approval from the smart young lady who came to inspect the new drains and filter beds. We asked her for her ideas about converting this old ‘fosse’ into a collection tank for rain water. Of course the water will be used on the garden, “be sure to use plenty of bleach,” were her last words. We did not think bleach mixed with our rainwater, no matter how dilute, would help our garden plants to grow; so we decided to just give it a good wash out.

This is where Jo-Jo comes in, he is the farmer - father in law of our good neighbours André and Roland and he owns a useful gadget called a slurry spreader.

I was dozing in a chair in the conservatory having enjoyed a good lunch of crunchy cauliflower cheese and nice slice of fish. This was followed by a cut price tiramisu found at Super ‘U’ in Bourgeois this morning. ‘Use by today’ it said so we duly obliged and very nice too.

JO JO ARRIVES
The tractor turning into the drive at three thirty, duly had me on my feet post haste and we quickly had the machine in place and sucking at the tank contents quite happily. Jo-Jo is a tall well built chap, always very jovial and was stirring things up in the tank with his huge oversized suction gadget and I went off to find the hose and coupled it up to our well - water irrigation pump. 
The ‘fosse’ was only about half full and after a few minutes we had worked out that when full it would hold three thousand five hundred litres of water.  As the residue smelly liquid reached the bottom we directed a good jet of clear water onto the walls and floor to dilute what was left.

The tanker was still sucking happily and we had our heads down into the ‘fosse’ cleaning this and that quite unaware of the mayhem taking place behind us. If you can picture those comic strip characters with soap suds in a fountain or too much soap in a washing machine, well this was many many times worse!

This slurry tanker holds about two thousand five hundred litres when full and we had not bothered to watch it as the ‘fosse’ was only half full; there would be plenty of room! But in fact it was overflowing, all over the courtyard in front of the house.

As Jo-Jo turned round, prompted by some sixth sense, he leapt up and used some strong words finishing with a French version of ‘it’s never done this before’! It was all the result of the pump sucking a mixture of effluent and air with the ‘fosse’ being almost empty.
The result was something like a giant grey sausage on wheels totally surrounded by creamy grey/brown froth as it poured and cascaded out of the large round inspection hatch similar to a submarine conning tower. It could have been just like a huge whipped up blancmange or angel delight, but this one was over eight feet high and about 20 feet long. ‘It’s just the froth’ said Jo-Jo confidently!

WHAT A PONG....
But that froth had a pong too, not that we two noticed it much at that time as we had had our heads down inside the ‘fosse’ for several minutes and were ‘immune’!
I’ll move the tractor out into the roadway,” he said; “you find some brushes to get rid of this stuff”. (All in “colloquial” French.)

I suggested that perhaps it would be best to rinse some of the spectacular ’foam’ from the slurry tank before he ventured onto the highway. That done he moved out of the way. It was a good job we both had ‘wellies’ on, even though it was just ‘foam’ it was not the kind of stuff one would like wrapped around ones ankles and socks! It did in fact brush away quite easily, it will take a day or two or even three for the smell to go though.

Jo-Jo was back in a few minutes, I didn’t ask him where he had left the slurry, one doesn’t ask these awkward type of questions in the countryside; and we finished rinsing the inside of the ‘fosse’. ‘Impeccable’ was the result, which could not be said for the courtyard.

Now, Ruth appeared on the scene having slept through all the trauma! Just as well she had not seen that ‘mountain’ of slurry foam spreading across the courtyard a little earlier. The day finished with a “petit coup” or to those not initiated a glass of wine all round.
ends

Wednesday, 1 June 2016

TO INVERNESS AND BACK AGAIN


  
TO INVERNESS AND BACK
From Ivy House Tales 1970 to 1984 this story from about 1974

We had just finished painting our “green-goddess”; a fairly ancient, long nose 7.5 ton Ford lorry with new second-hand flat bodywork. The lorry came from Glenton’s “Wonderloaf” bakery in Grimsby by way of Herbert Epton the local heavy haulage contractor in our village of New Bolingbroke. Herbert had the contact at Glentons who told him when any surplus bakery vehicles were coming up for sale, they were fairly high mileage but only lightly used having been delivering bread all their lives. They had also been well maintained.
All the Lorries came with big van bodies and had to be altered if need be.
The “green-goddess” was the first of several vehicles we bought from Herbert and formed the basis of our initial ECYB “lorry fleet”. 

BACKGROUND INFORMATION
Carting commercial tyres from tyre retailers to the Tyre Manufacturers Adjudication centres had become the basis of our independent business since I had left the employ of Firestone. Moving boats, ECYB’s initial business had been proved to be altogether too hazardous and fickle to make a serious living. Firestone local boss Fred Popham and I had discussed the whole matter at some length after I had admitted to ‘escaping’ for the odd day or two to deliver boats to various distant parts of the UK.
(see “Filling up with a Magyar 9” in Book Two)
My knowledge of the tyre trade through working for Firestone had introduced me to the problem encountered by all the tyre retailers in the UK in getting commercial tyres with supposed problems, back to the official centres set up and paid for by the UK Tyre manufacturers working together. There they were examined by engineers from the individual manufacturers on a rota basis and where necessary raised credits for any manufacturing imperfections. Collecting these tyres from retailers and their subsequent delivery had become the basis of our business.
The first vehicle we purchased was an elderly Volkswagen transporter "split windscreen" pick up which we fitted with a tow bar. Next we purchased a small lorry from a poultry farm at Swineshead; a short wheelbase BMC FG (three penny bit cab) light truck of five tons or so gross capacity with a flat open body. It was fitted with the same three litre six cylinder petrol engine as the MG’C’ and really flew along. Not the ideal transport for our needs but it was available and cheap. We added a 16 foot single axle trailer to this vehicle to give it the capacity for twice weekly trips delivering ‘complaint’ tyres to Burton on Trent our local Tyre Manufacturers Conference depot. We soon outgrew this little lorry and hence the search for something larger.


The first ‘Wonderloaf’ Ford, of about 1962 vintage was fitted with the same four cylinder diesel engine as was original equipment in the famous ‘Fordson Major’ tractor series of the late 1950’s; a long stroke, slow revving engine, with bags of pulling power, but not much top speed. The lorry had a normal type cab and long bonnet. We did not have pots of money available for smart paint jobs hence ‘the green goddess’ was lightest green and white. Paint we had in stock!
The complaint tyre collections had begun within Lincolnshire and initially only took a couple of days each week. Other clients were needed to help pay the bills and we had already begun to deliver goods for J.H. Rundle's Engineering works based in the village. Their own lorry was engaged on deliveries of really heavy items and we soon became fairly regularly engaged in their smaller deliveries initially using our Volkswagen Transporter pick up. (See Bus and the auger).

MAKING UP A LOAD
This trip to Inverness was more unusual. John Rundle had happened to mention that they had a complete set of three Cambridge (gang) rolls for delivery to the Blacksmith at Inverness in Scotland but the amount they could afford to pay for their transport would not cover the cost of a lorry on its own. With some applied thought I asked if they had any other items to go in that direction and it so happened that their iron foundry were finishing an order of lead sash window weights for a period housing project in Dundee.
I had another new client in Skegness who made children’s slot machine amusements and managed to add a consignment of their ‘money in the slot’ bar billiard tables destined for Perth. The three items made a reasonable load for the long distance run without having to bother finding a load for the return journey. They were also relatively high value and the billiard tables fragile. 
The lead sash weights went on first, laid flat on the back of the lorry. I travelled to Skegness to put the billiard tables on top and then returned to New Bolingbroke to load the Cambridge rolls on the front behind the cab. All in all I should think the load exceeded my maximum permitted four point five tons but the lorry looked happy once everything was sheeted down and ready for the off.
I remember distinctly that Saturday morning in Rundle’s yard roping and sheeting the last of the load.

John Rundle’s father (Jack snr.) was taking a great deal of interest in what I was doing. Readers of ‘Changes to the Town Hall’ will recollect that ‘Jack’ was one of the original Management committee of that historical building. Now well retired, he had been instrumental in the expansion of Rundle’s during the era of steam. He still retained an active interest in everything going on in the business and after watching me for several minutes he said, “I’ve never been to Scotland, will you take me with you?”
I was deeply honoured that this wonderful elderly gentleman who was almost 80, years old had sufficient confidence in me and this gaudily painted very second hand lorry to wish to come on the round trip of between six and seven hundred miles into some seriously wild countryside.
I think it was the thought of passing Culloden and Balmoral, Tomintoul and Blairgowrie; Edinburgh, Perth and Dundee that had excited his serious interest.
After a few moments I said we would have to speak to his son John (himself in his late 50’s). John was quite speechless, but after I had explained that due to promised delivery times and huge distances, I would have to sleep in the lorry while travelling over the top of the Cairngorm Mountains; there would be nowhere convenient to stop where a bed could be found for the night.
I do regret that no way could be found for the old gentleman to accompany me as he would have seen splendour like nothing he had ever seen before in his whole long life. But the journey was not without difficulty; due to the costings and mileage I could take no longer than two days for the journey so stops would not be frequent. Ministry Log Books were still the method of keeping journey records so timings were ‘flexible’.

NOT WITHOUT INCIDENT
Dundee was my first stop with the billiard tables and then I was back in Perth before the end of that first day to deliver the original ‘Georgian’ pattern lead sash weights at the prescribed building site where some of the huge classic Perth residential buildings were being faithfully restored. A brief stop here to choose my best route to find myself in Inverness by 8am the next morning.
I really did stop for the night on top of the Cairngorm Mountains; it was very cold I remember and while wrapped in my sleeping bag stretched across the bench seat of the lorry cab, gave due thought to old Jack Rundle and what he would have made of the journey.
At daybreak I began the last lap north allowing sufficient time for the blacksmith at Inverness to open his shop; but fate was to take a hand and not long after I started, one of the diesel injector pipes on the engine broke clean in half just above the injector itself.
There was nothing I could do; the engine ran on three cylinders and the remaining now unconnected pipe pumped measured amounts of diesel everywhere except into the engine. These older engines were very simple in design and not sufficient allowance had been made for excessive vibration and different engine speeds between the tractor where the engine was first used and the lorry. From time to time I was to learn, these pipes just broke off fairly regularly. Each of the four pipes was totally different in length and shape; they were quite strong in themselves but needed more bracing where their longer lengths passed over the top of the engine. The lorry being an early 1960’s model and very basic; it had no sound deadening material in the engine bay or anything else to prevent the very strong smell from the diesel fuel that was being sprayed liberally over the entire engine.
From the first public telephone box I could find, ( no mobile phones around yet ) I phoned ahead and explained my problem. Bit by bit I pressed on and managed to arrive at the Blacksmiths shop only half an hour or so later than expected. Forewarned, he surveyed the damage and quickly stripped the pipe so that he could braze the two broken ends together. I was even more pleased that old ‘Jack’ was not with me on the journey as he would have no doubt found that last leg to Inverness worrying to say the least.

REGRET
The trip back home was uneventful, the repair held and a new pipe quickly fixed in place.
Unfortunately, ‘old Jack’ Rundle died a few months later, he never did get to Scotland; but perhaps it was best he did not make his first trip to Scotland in a very smelly, second hand lorry with only three cylinders working during its crossing of some of the highest mountains in the land!

ENDS
KS copyright 2013

Monday, 18 April 2016

BE VERY CAREFUL WHEN OPENING THOSE BOTTLES OF SPARKLING WINE


 WATCH OUT FOR THOSE WINE CORKS

This week Ruth has been to see her Ophthalmic Surgeon to have the final check before her first cataract operation later in the month.

Friends from our old twin town near Fresnay sur Sarthe have invited us to take part in a Champagne wine tasting day, which so happens is just two days after the operation. Ruth asked the surgeon if he thought it would be ok for her to attend the event considering the short time scale.

He said he thought it might be ok but she would have to take great care of the bottle corks in case one flew out and hit her in the eye!!

We know they are dangerous and can fly a considerable distance, but in fact he had a patient this last Christmas who had just had a cataract operation and this did happen to him and caused severe damage to the eye !

The moral of this story is always take great care when opening a bottle of sparkling wine; make sure the cork is pointing away from you and anyone else. 

To be really safe use a specially made sparkling wine cork extractor. 

It is not unknown for the cork to fly out just as the restraining wire is removed. 

RKS  18/04/2016 

Monday, 11 April 2016

PHILCO THE FRIDGE GOT IT WRONG YESTERDAY!

PHILCO THE FRIDGE MADE A MISTAKE

I can not image how so simple a mistake should happen...........it is all to do with that door opening question. When I was so good at mental arithmetic at junior school too,I even won a prize for it!

However the figure given out by Philco yesterday...is so inaccurate......perhaps the real figure is so unbelievable it blew his mind!

The formula has been checked three times now and is as follows...........

20 door openings each day (average) times 365 equals 7300 door openings each year.

7300 times 51 years equals 372,300....that's better but hard to digest and the door has never ever been rehung or hinges repaired!

Sunday, 10 April 2016

ARE THERE ANY FRIDGES OUT THERE WHO CAN BEAT MY RECORD?

ARE THERE ANY FRIDGES OUT THERE WHO CAN BEAT MY RECORD?

Ask around...please pass the word.....Philco Sanders is “laying down the gauntlet”.

The answer to our question from last month when Philco Sanders asked how many times his door has been opened...... is 44,500 times......so far and counting....as they say!!

Philco Sanders is now proposing that he is the oldest domestic refrigerator in constant everyday use...on Sunday 10 April 2016.....at 51 years and two months without stopping...except for his regular monthly defrost!

How about it refrigerators of the World, is there anyone out there with a longer record of constant non stop working...and still working?

That's important ….the fridge must still be working!

As the story develops Philco Sanders will be producing photos of how he looks now!

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

MY QUESTION IS.............HOW MANY TIMES HAS MY DOOR BEEN OPENED?

MY QUESTION IS.............HOW MANY TIMES HAS MY DOOR BEEN OPENED?

I was first purchased from Curry's Store in Boston, England in March 1965. My owners were a young couple planning to get married in the month of May, but the boy had problems at his family home and decided to leave and start to live on his own in February of that year.

Through his work at the local newspaper, the boy had managed to find the couple a flat, (apartment for those of you not used to the English “lingo”) so somewhere for him to live was not a problem. The young couple decided to buy their future furniture straight away so the boy could live in the flat for the few months prior to the wedding......that is how I got there!

I have only moved a few times when the couple changed their home in England from time to time. But in 2008 I made an extra long journey and now live in the French countryside not far from Saumur, the historic centre of sparkling wine production in the valley of the river Loire.

I am still here in 2016......I had my big anniversary last year! My family still use me as their everyday main kitchen refrigerator......there was a usurper in my kitchen here in France when I first arrived but he was some modern 21st Century character and I soon wore him out after three years or so!

I still live with the same couple but they are not so young now.....just like me. When I came here to France all they had to do for me was change my electrical plug and switch me on. My inside light has not been working for the last 20 years or so but nobody seems to mind. The bottle tray at the bottom of the inside of my door has been cracked and split for several years and is now effectively bound up with that wonderful “gaffer” sticky tape!
Mind you I do get cleaned out and defrosted very regularly.

I have been thinking just lately how many times my door has been opened since I was a shiny brand - new fridge back in 1965. There must be some kind of formula for this kind of question.
Over the years, some clever “university graduate” must have used some ancient theorem from the ancient Greeks or similar very knowledgeable ancients?

My name is Philco by the way, I understand that I was made when my family was a subsidiary of the Ford Motor Company but in more recent years my family have probably changed their owners several more times. I do not really know where I came from originally before I arrived in that electrical retail shop in England.....so there we come to another question?

I understand that world wide communications have changed drastically since I was first constructed perhaps in 1964, so maybe somebody out there can provide me with a few answers please?

Thank you in anticipation......

an ancient fridge.